Because I Said So…

The Boston Tea Party has disbanded after approximately two years and Tom Knapp, founder of the party, resigned from its national committee via the BTP Yahoo message board.  

In his resignation, Knapp insisted the national committee members remained unresponsive to efforts to schedule the BTP national convention.  He wrote, “Aside from an allegedly active New York affiliate, it is my opinion that the Boston Tea Party has ceased to exist as a going concern, and that there is no substantial likelihood of its revival.”

I don’t think Knapp and crew tried everything they could to hold the party together.  Did the BTP try offering free coffee to members to stimulate its efforts?  Read the message in it’s entirety after the jump. Continue Reading »

Presidential candidate Alan Keyes might be leaving the GOP.  In a conference call with supporters last week, Keyes apparently said staying in the Republican Party would be “an occasion of sin” and he is ready to bolt.

Keyes really dislikes John McCain, in addition to every other candidate, so the Bizzaro World Obama wants no part in selecting the “type of deodorant we need to make a stinking candidate acceptable to conservatives.” A Keyes supporter who took part in the conference call confirmed to Radar that the former Reagan administration official said, “he could no longer remain in the Republican Party.”

But never fear.  The Keyes campaign will not die.  He hinted in January that he might go for a third party bid and an e-mail sent out by the campaign after the call includes a link for supporters who “want to vote for Alan as your 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice on the Constitution Party presidential poll.”

A Keyes message board commenter who claims to have been on the conference call last night said regarding the possibility of a Constitution Party run that, “Alan asked us to pray about it. That’s what he is doing as he is considering these things. He did not say he’s definately [sic] going to do it, but from the tone of things I am going to say it’s very likely.”

Lucky for Keyes, I have the Pope on speed dial.  Well, actually that’s Chili’s, but while I’m waiting for the Pope to get back to me I can put in an order for an Awesome Blossom.  I can’t say it enough:  God bless America.

Get your sniper rifles ready, Democrats!  Today is they day we all find out if old man and consumer advocate Ralph Nader will join in the presidential race and save America from corporate cronies.  Join me as I detail what Nader reveals on ”Meet the Press” as it happens.  Well, at least what I catch when I’m not distracted by his wonky eye.  Does anyone else think his face melting?

8:00 AM  Cue dramatic music as Russert gives the run-down of today’s stories.  He sounds like a robot.  Nader, polls, McCain banging interns!  It’s going to be a good show.

8:01 AM  Russert cuts to the chase and asks Nader will he run for president.

8:02 AM Nader’s wonky eye is explaining all the problems in the country in an attempt to put things in a “context.”  I think he misunderstood the question.

8:03 AM Nader basically says the other candidates suck.  Corporations suck.  Everybody sucks. 

8:04 AM Will he just say yes already!?!?  Nope, talking about slavery now…Wait, I think he just said he’s running for president–at least in that context?

8:05 AM Russert accuses Nader of blowing the presidential election in 2000 and bringing Bush and 9/11 on America.

8:06 AM Quit picking on us little green guys, says Nader.  “Get over it!”

  Continue Reading »

Nader is one step closer to officially announcing his third party presidential campaign.  The consumer advocate will appear on NBC’s “Meet the Press” on Sunday where he also launched his his 2004 presidential run on the show according to AP.

Nader’s appearance on “Meet the Press” was announced today in an e-mail message from Nader’s exploratory campaign. The message from “The Nader Team” urges supporters to tell friends and family to watch the show and requests online contributions.

The teaser on the Meet the Press website says:

“In 2000, many think Ralph Nader’s presidential candidacy helped George Bush win the White House. He ran again unsuccessfully in 2004. Will he make another run in 2008? Find out Sunday in an exclusive interview with Ralph Nader.”

Like a zombie, Nader’s presidential aspirations just won’t die (unless you cut off his head, anyway–the zombie’s head not the Nader’s).  Awesome.  I will be live blogging the interview bright and early 9 a.m. ET.  (Hopefully.)  Make it good, Russert; elicit some Naderisms from the third party prince.

Still not satisfied with your presidential options?  Here are some of the more amusing independent and third-party candidates you can wastecast a vote for in November.   There’s a “vampire,” a marijuana proponent, and a wholistic healer.  God bless America!

“Average Joe” Schriner:  An average Joe for president.  Shriner wants us to “…imagine that!”  The common man with common sense and uncommon solutions wants you to give him your vote once again.  According to his website, Average Joe ran in 2000 and 2004 too.  At least that’s what I gathered from the 0 and 4 crossed out before the 8 in a stroke of graphic genius on his site’s banner.  Here’s what Joe wants you to know: 

“I jog through the streets of Cleveland, Ohio, in a pair of gray sweats. My favorite spot to eat is the “Old-Fashion Hot Dogs” place around the corner (chili-dogs a buck and a quarter). What’s more, I cut my own lawn.  Oh, and I’m running for president.”

Isn’t it great when presidential candidates make their campaign an afterthought?

 Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey:  The Impaler, as his fans affectionately refer to him, is the founding member, and 50 percent of the total membership, of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.  The Federal Election Commission actually recognizes the party.   There is nothing I could possibly say about Sharkey that is better than what he writes about himself on his MySpace page.

“I am asking for everyone to please forget about my religious beliefs.  Yes, I am a satanic vampyre (sic), and a Hecate witch…That is not what I am running on…It’s very simple.  If you want to live in peace and have child molesters, rapists, killers, drug dealers, and terrorists impaled, instead of getting off easy then vote for me.  It’s that simple…I will bring Americans peace of mind.”

Somehow this looks more ominous written in all caps on his site.  Oh, and his mentioning that if you “attack someone I love, killing you will be as easy as breathing to me.  I will make Rambo look like Mother Teresa,” disturbs me a little.  Sounds like a good campaign slogan, though:  “I will make Rambo look like Mother Teresa.”  He’s got my vote!

Hilarity ensues after the jump.

Continue Reading »

Temperance lecturer, landscape painter, and Minister Gene Amondson wants to add U.S. president to his list of occupations.  He is the Prohibition Party’s presidential candidate. 

This will be Amondson’s second presidential run.  He campaigned under the Prohibition Party with the same one-plank platform–no booze–in 2004.  For some reason, the Prohibition Party thinks alcohol is the biggest issue this country faces.  Health care?  Negligible.  Iraq War?  Who cares?  Alcohol?  Grab your torch and pitchforks!  Yup, they want to bring back the golden age of 1929.  Are they drunk?  No.  And this bad-ass photo from his website makes me think Amondson means business:

Amondson seems like a guy with a sense of humor.  He picketed outside Anheuser-Busch in St. Louis holding a wine bottle and dressed as the Grim Reaper.  Clearly, the Amondson is targeting the youth vote. He reprised this role for the “Daily Show” in 2004 when the program did a segment on the Prohibition Party during the presidential elections.  Check it out here.  The clip is almost as funny as it would be if he actually won.  What a sobering thought…  (Try reading that comment while you’re drunk.  You will find it more amusing.)

It’s been nearly two years since current Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney punched a cop.  On March 29, 2006, the then Georgia U.S. Representative  punched a Capitol police officer after he mistakenly pursued her for failing to pass through a metal detector.  How much you want to bet she was blasting rap group NWA’s single “F*ck the Police” in her i-pod on the way to work that morning?

To be fair, members of Congress are not required to pass through metal detectors.  So, when the officer called out, “Ma’am, Ma’am,” and grabbed her arm to stop her, she did what any respectable congressman would do: she punched him in the chest.

It turns out McKinney wasn’t wearing the pin that distinguishes the privileged congress members from the nobodies and potential psychos, so security personnel probably weren’t expecting to get chest bumped by an angry Capitol Hill rep.  But, whatever.

Since then McKinney has been ostracized, switched parties and now tries her hand at being Green.  So let’s celebrate how far she’s come since that unsightly incident (caught on tape but, unfortunately for us, unreleased) with a video in which she humiliates herself a couple of weeks after the assault:

McKinney was being interviewed by a reporter who repeatedly questioned her about the scuffle.  Frustrated, McKinney stood up and forgot she was still wearing a microphone. Her off-screen comments calling one of her aids “a fool” were caught on tape.  Enjoy!

Despite not officially declaring his run for the Green Party nomination for president, Nader did well on Super Tuesday, February 5.  

Nader had a landslide victory in California where he won with 61 percent, 17,065 votes, in nearly complete returns. Democrat turned Green Party member last year Cynthia McKinney had 7,178, or 26 percent of the 30,000 votes cast.

Greens voted in three other states on Tuesday where the party’s ballot status qualifies it to hold primaries:

In Illinois, where Nader was not on the ballot, nearly complete returns had McKinney leading a four-candidate field with 57 percent of the vote.In Arkansas, where Nader was not on the ballot, early returns suggested that the majority of votes were cast for an uncommitted delegate slate. McKinney ran second with 22 percent.Statewide results from Massachusetts were not yet available Wednesday afternoon. But results from some cities had Nader running slightly ahead of McKinney.”

Nader indicated last week that he was considering making another run for the presidency in 2008, especially if New York Senator Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee.

Oooooh!  He’s gunning for you, Hil.  Quick, check out the tapes of Al Gore’s 2000 election loss to train for the fight.  Because, you know Nader: he’s watching us all with the eye of the tiger… 
 

Five Green Party presidential candidates, including every voter’s favorite presidential election ruin-er Ralph Nader and former Democratic party congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, will be trying to be the candidate to siphon undecided votes in November by getting on the the ballot in the California Green Party’s primary on “Super Tuesday” Feb. 5.

A party spokesperson today said it is the most competitive race for President in the history of the Green Party.  Somewhere in the world John McCain is giving out high-fives.

Almost one-third of the Green Party delegate will be determinedon February 5 between Illinois, Massachusetts, Arkansas and California–the most significant of the Green primaries. 

California has 168 of the 836 delegates (over 20%) that will nominate the Green Party nominee on July 13 in Chicago makes California pretty critical to both Nader and McKinney in securing the Green Party nomination.”

Also crowding joining the race are:

Jesse Johnson, a filmmaker and 2006 Senate and 2004 gubernatorial candidate for the West Virginia Mountain Party.

Kent Mesplay, a biomedical engineer who sought the Green Party presidential nomination in 2004.

Kat Swift, the Texas State Party Co-chair, progressive activist and newspaper credit manager.

They look like a colorful bunch.  And according to California Green Party spokeswoman Susan King these candidates will provide a much needed “real choice” at the polls.  You know, because there have been so few candidates throwing their hat in the ring this year.

This promises to be the most competitive presidential primary on record for the Green Party of California. And it comes at a time in our state and nation’s history when voters need a real choice at the polls, and an opportunity to elect a President who will make a difference by ending the war in Iraq now, protecting our planet now and providing universal, single-payer health care for all.” 

All very unique ideas that NO candidate currently in the presidential race has mentioned yet…  Time will tell if “going green” will pollute the democratic effort later.

The race for president is not official to me without third party candidates buzzing around the chosen Republican and Democratic party candidates once the primaries are over.  They provide a little more color to the campaign trail when red and blue starts getting stale.

Fortunately for everyone–or unfortunately for major party candidates–Ralph Nader might be making another bid for the White House.  The consumer advocate has run in the past four presidential elections.  He is most notoriously known by critics as the man who sucked away enough votes from then Democratic Vice President Al Gore in the 2000 campaign to help George W. Bush win the White House.  Fast forward eight years and we all know how that story ends.

Nader, 73, told a Montreal radio show that he will “decide in about a month” whether he will throw his hat in the ring.  Who is ready for another three-ring circus and thinks Nader should enter the race?  I thought so.  I’ll bring the popcorn.